Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Talked to Lucas

Alright, I swallowed my pride and gave Lucas the private audience he requested. I recorded the conversation:

Harold (me): Alright, I did what you want. What do you want from me?

Lucas: I don’t want anything FROM you, I just want to talk.

Harold: You hacked my online journal just to have a private chat?

Lucas: Yup. After all, this is some important [EXPLETIVE] we’re going to be talking about.

Harold: What exactly are we going to be talking about?

Five second pause.

Lucas: That man who’s been following you.

Harold: What? What man?

Lucas: Don’t act like you haven’t seen him. The man in the suit? Always in the corner of your eye? You try to look, but you can’t really make out any feature on him?

I don’t respond.

Lucas: Alright, maybe you haven’t seen him. At least not recently.

Harold: Is there a point to this, or are you just going to sit there and spit out more insane stories?

Lucas: He’s following you. I know he is. I can see it in your eyes, in the way you walk. The way you’re always looking behind your back.

Harold: How do you know about that?

Lucas: Well, it’s pretty damn obvious. You’d be surprised how much I can see from this little “slice of heaven.”

Five second pause.

Lucas: But back to the important stuff. You may not have seen this tall guy in the suit recently, but he never gives up prey. Trust me, you’ve been targeted.

Harold: Enough with that! Why did you kill that man? You were unprovoked! Why don’t you have any records?

Lucas: Well, since you don’t believe me, I can’t tell you.

Harold: Whether I’m being followed has nothing to do why you killed an innocent man!

Lucas: (Bursts out laughing)

Harold: What the hell is supposed to be so funny?!

Lucas: I’m sorry; it’s just so funny that you’re calling that man innocent!

Harold: What makes you think he’s not innocent?

Lucas: (Suddenly serious) I watched that man kill my entire family. He made me watch.

Harold: Oh. I’m very sorry for your loss; but you should have reported him.

Lucas: A simple jail couldn’t hold him. He serves the Slender Man.

Harold: The Slender Man? Who is the Slender Man?

Lucas: (Ignoring what I said) he deserved nothing less than death. He was lucky. He got it quick. But if it were up to me to decide, I would have killed him slowly.

Harold: But who is Slender Man? What does he have to do with any of this?

Lucas: What does Slender Man have to do with this? Everything! He drove that man insane! He has been chasing me for as long as I can remember! HE has taken away everything from me! Do you hear me!? EVERYTHING!

Harold: Calm down, Lucas!

Lucas: But the worst part of it is his silence… He just stands there, staring. Always staring. But then, when he comes for you… Oh god…

Harold: Lucas?

Lucas: Please, help us! Help me! Please, you have to find a way to kill it!

Harold: That’s not my job.

Lucas: You have to! It’s the only way! You HAVE to kill it! Oh god, I can hear it now, in my head… Make it stop… Make it stop… (begins to sob)

Harold: Why did you come to me about this, Lucas? Why not some other officer?

Lucas: (Stops sobbing, looks up) Because he’s already after you.

After this, Lucas refuses to say anything. All we know is that this guy clearly is mentally unstable. I had Jackie look up anyone under the alias of “Slender Man”, and she got this web site about him. Apparently, he’s a paranormal being with tentacles who eats children. Lucas is definitely insane if he thinks some internet story is real and is after him. We’ll see about institutionalizing him, it’s for the best.

-Kemble

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